Beth and Barry Lamont - Wedding, 1968

Perspectives from Enduring Couples at The Covington, an ECS Senior Living Community in Aliso Viejo

Every marriage has its story, and the longer the marriages, the richer the stories. Four long-term couples at The Covington, an independent senior living community in Aliso Viejo, reflect on their marriages for the month of February celebrating love.

Beth and Barry Lamont

In the mid-1960s, Barry was an Air Force officer when he volunteered to attend the Government language school in Monterey, California. He signed up to learn Korean, “and I was lucky enough to get in,” Barry says.

After graduation, one of his fellow officers in language school was assigned to Seoul. “He preceded me,” Barry says, “and by the time I got there, he was already engaged to be married.” It was at his fellow officer’s wedding that Barry spotted Beth. “We kind of clicked,” he says, “but she was very reluctant to be seen with me, because in those days respectable Korean women did not openly date men.” When they saw each other, Beth would bring a couple of her friends along with her, so no one would know who Barry was with. “We had a courtship in secret,” he says.

One of Barry’s language teachers from Monterey was Beth’s relative. The teacher wrote a letter of introduction for Barry to Beth’s family, and they allowed Beth to date him. Barry and Beth were married within the year.

Barry was transferred to Japan, where they had their two daughters. When he mustered out of the Air Force three years later, Barry went to Harvard for his MBA. His first job out of business school was with a bank in Chicago. “I joined them because they were starting up a Korean office,” he says. And within a year the couple were back in South Korea. During their time in Seoul, they went through a marriage course in the Catholic church. “It’s to make good marriages better,” Barry says. “You learn the importance of forgiving and having compassion for each other.’”

They have called The Covington home for two years. Barry smiles, saying that Beth “has blossomed here. Her paintings were on exhibition in the lobby.” The supportive community that they sought throughout their travels, they have now found at The Covington.

Barbara and Mark Pray

Barbara and Mark met through their work in 1978. Barbara was managing a bank in Fullerton, and Mark, originally from Michigan, had recently moved to Southern California as an HR Manager. “He came in to open an account,” Barbara says. A few weeks later, he came back. “He wanted to talk to me about other bank services,” she says. Barbara recalls that as he left, she thought to herself that he was a really nice guy. “And I thought, I hope he feels the same way about me.” A week later, Barbara came back from lunch to find a note on her desk, asking her to call Mark Pray. The phone call resulted in a dinner invitation.

Barbara and Mark Pray

“So we go for dinner,” Barbara says, “and he’s in HR. The dinner was nice but he asked HR questions.” She laughs, describing the dinner like an interview. Clearly Mark approved of her responses to his questions, as about a month later, he asked Barbara to marry him. It was to be the second marriage for both of them, and they decided to visit a Minister Barbara knew in Laguna Hills to discuss the type of wedding they wanted. “The Minister talked to us for a while, and then he said ‘I think you’re a perfect couple. When do you want to set the date?’ and I thought, well, why not now?” So Barbara and Mark got married right then and there!

They both had daughters from their previous marriages, and Barbara recalls how they all got on well. “And we’ve been married for over 46 years now,” she says.

Mark reflects on what they’ve learned over the years, to establish a solid marriage. “Figure out what you both like to do and then do it together frequently,” he says. “And be honest with each other. And if something is not working the way you think it should, take the time to talk about it.”

The intuition that inspired their short courtship also inspired their decision to move to The Covington two years ago. They knew right away they liked it. The size, location and nonprofit nature of the organization was important to them. “When you know, you know,” Mark says. Barbara adds, “Most importantly, we find the neighbors here are friendly, active, and positive; and the team, personable and professional.”

Vi and Jim Ritchie

The Ritchies grew up in Phoenix, Arizona. They started dating in their Senior year in high school and were married after their Freshman year in College in 1958. “Back then, there were a lot of couples our age who were married. So you went through the college system as a married couple,” Vi says. They had their first daughter when Vi was just 19.

Vi and Jim Ritchie

Being married and having children at a young age Jim says, “we grew up together.” They moved to Southern California for Jim’s job, which he describes as a good move. Removed from families and friends, they had to dig in and make the marriage work. “Change generates growth,” Jim says, and the move allowed them to grow together even more.

When their parents were aging, they returned to Phoenix where Vi’s career began to flourish. She eventually became the President of the Arizona chapter of a national organization of marketing professional services. “It’s something she couldn’t have done when we were raising our children,” Jim says.

Jim was offered a job as a Superintendent of a school district in the Bay Area, and they moved again. When it was time for retirement, they returned to Southern California.

Looking back on their 66 years together, Jim reflects on all the transitions they have navigated. “The other person may not always be in the same place where you are, but it’s important to understand what’s going on during those times with your partner and support them as best you can.”

Jim says that their move to The Covington nine months ago has been another form of transition for them. “Here, we both have an opportunity to grow through community.”

Joni and Bob Arnold

Joni and Bob Arnold, June 23, 1974

Joni & Bob Arnold grew up in Minnesota, and in 1974 they were set up by a mutual friend. Bob was 29 at the time, and Joni was 27. “We both had been in relationships, so we knew what we wanted,” Bob explains. When Bob first saw Joni, he thought she was “cute and short.” And Joni thought he was “cute and funny,” they laugh as they recall their first impressions.

On their first date, he went to her apartment for dinner. She put a frozen pizza in the oven and forgot to remove the cardboard from its bottom. But something clicked beyond the pizza, as their second date was just two days later. By the end of the week, Bob mentioned that they should get married, and on Monday they went ring shopping. So, within five days, they went from first date to engagement. They were married six months later.

Bob says that Joni can always find the good in people, which served her well in her career as a social worker in Minneapolis. Bob’s work in the aerospace industry took them to Virginia, where they had their two children and where Joni worked for congressmen. In 1988 Bob was transferred to Southern California. As a Vice President, he was constantly travelling. Bob says that one of the secrets to the longevity of their marriage is that being apart made them appreciate each other.

They’ve been at The Covington for just over a year. “Joni’s involved in everything,” he says. Bob appreciates that they can be as active as they want to be. Looking back on their 50 years together, Bob reflects that the small disagreements don’t mean much. “They just kind of evaporate.” What surprises Bob the most is that “the time just goes by so fast.”

About The Covington:

The Covington offers a warm welcome to individuals and couples from all backgrounds, cultures and faiths. Set on 12 leafy acres, with luxury amenities like a heated indoor pool, personalized health-and-wellness plans, koi pond, lush gardens and 3 exceptional dining venues to choose from, The Covington delivers the choice, freedom, and flexibility all seniors deserve. Schedule a visit today to learn more. We’d love to show you around.

The Covington
3 Pursuit, Aliso Viejo
(949) 209-3829 | thecovington.org

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